Communicate Your Fears

I have come to the realisation that I am bit of a worrier. Although my happy exterior for the most part reflects my inner state, I worry a lot about things that I don’t have control over. I worry about the past, I worry about the future and sometimes I get myself overwhelmed by thoughts of how many things can go wrong.

When stepping into the unfamiliar fear can be a response. And for me, fear is my response when I experience emotions foreign to me. I hate feeling things that I don’t want to feel. Often time people equate the numbing of emotions to boys, with several talking about how society has taught boys to hide their feelings to appear masculine. I agree with this wholeheartedly. However, this behaviour I would like to argue, is commonplace for many individuals.

I tend to bury my emotions so much so that burying them has become a reflex response. Whenever tears form in my eyes over a situation, I find myself saying ‘shut up’ ‘what is wrong with you’ ‘stop this’ and lo and behold a few minutes later I have buried whatever has aimed to interrupt my peace. However, I have realised that in doing this constantly I don’t give myself the permission to be a human being.

In Ecclesiastes it speaks about there being a time for everything, there’s ‘a time to cry’ ‘a time to grieve’ ‘a time to heal’. In the bible we are given permission to feel different emotions and we should embrace that. This year I have felt so many emotions because I have had several new experiences and for a very long time I rejected my emotions. If it wasn’t happiness, I didn’t want it. So, I went into a cycle of denial, pretending things were not bothering me when they did, chastising myself for letting situations consume my mind. It wasn’t until reflecting that I realised that part of growing up is being confronted with situations that are foreign to you. And maturity does not mean that you become emotionless in the face of the unknown, maturity is letting yourself feel the confusion, anger, hurt, love but not letting it control you.

Negative emotions often time are a result of fear or they result in fear. Sometimes the anger that comes with friends letting you down makes you fear that you will never form meaningful relationships. Or take the frustration that comes with struggling with your work or job, makes you fear that you will never make progress. Or the guilt that comes from sin makes you fear that you will never build a relationship with God.

I planned to state one of my biggest fears to add some perspective but at this moment in time I feel pretty fearless. I am embracing what I preach because through being intentional about communicating my fears they have no power over me. Recently in a moment of sadness I wrote down everything that I was afraid of and next to it I wrote down everything I was grateful for. That one action helped to put things into perspective. Additionally, embracing Matthew 6:34 that tells us “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” helps you to understand that worry and fear really gets you nowhere.

Fear always threatens to cripple us or to numb us to feelings altogether and it’s important to combat that by:

1. Embracing your emotions but not letting them control or overwhelm you

2. Stating your fears

3. Remembering all you have to be grateful for

4. Taking every day one step at a time

I hope we can end this year with an attitude of fearlessness.

Stay blessed and beautiful

#itunuspeaks

Scriptures to remember when you are fearful or worrying:

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.