God Or Your Goals- What comes first?

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Philippians 4:11-13 Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Every time I don’t write for an extended period I feel like Microsoft Word is calling my name. So, here I am responding to the call, finally. I have been unwell for a while and a bit unsure of what to write and hesitant to write what I’ve had in mind. I’ve been exploring various topics in the bible recently which I would love to share over the next month. However, today I want to talk about the relationship between having goals and believing in God. And explore my questions, struggles and realisations when it comes to that topic.

Being in my third year of University I have been thinking a lot about who I am and what I want and realising shifts in my perspectives that younger me would have never envisioned. I wrote a piece last year about being obsessed with success. An infatuation with a life of impact, wealth and glamour consumed my thoughts and impacted every decision that I made. Every decision, success and failure would be a puzzle piece to the bigger picture that would be my amazing fulfilling life. Now, this is not inherently bad at all. Wanting material success or desiring to have influence isn’t wrong or evil. However, thoughts of a bigger, better and richer life was all I really cared about. By the end of my first year I started feeling differently about this obsession I had. I started caring a lot more about deepening my faith. I wanted to read my bible and have a deep understanding of the scripture and be able to teach and discuss. I wanted to know God for myself. And to be honest I felt like this spiritual awakening was a sign of maturity, a maturity that said ‘God over your goals’. And I was ok with that, I’m still ok with that. However, I am experiencing a shift in my thoughts once again.

I have always felt that I have a huge contribution to make to the world so when I encountered things that told me that I should put God over my goals I felt conflicted. Not to say that I didn’t believe in God but hearing things that seemed to tell me that reading the bible, attendance and involvement in church and talking about God all the time should be my life’s goal made me feel conflicted. Conflicted because sure I love God and sure I see God as important, but I also had all these dreams, goals and desires that weren’t directly related to church or ministry. Therefore, over some time I started to question myself, questioning where my allegiance laid and wondering if my deep-rooted desires were evidence of selfish ambition or inspired by God.

Although my perspectives are still being formed I would like to offer some perspective on these questions I think many of us have. I think some of our deeply rooted desires are from God. God is intentional and created you for a purpose and equipped you with all the skills to achieve that purpose. I love to write and since I was very young I have been good at writing. Now if you ask me to dance or solve an equation that would require a lot more effort because that’s not my natural inclination. Therefore, a desire to write a book or write academic literature or even blog as I am now would make sense. God would not give me a skill and then forbid me from using it because it is not preaching or singing in the choir. All because your skills do not seem to directly link back to God doesn’t mean that your desire to use them in your future work or endeavours is negative. And your skills can link back to God simply because they are gifted to you from God in the first place.

Now, all of this seems straightforward however, I feel like the conflict for many of us comes when we put our desires above God. For a long time speaking about issues that impacted black people became almost a religion to me. I was enraged by injustice that black people went through and was always ready to debate or argue with anyone about representation, diversity and inclusion and the evil of racism. You would always see me tweeting and retweeting about these things. When I started to follow a lot more Christians on social media I would compare the biblical insights and scriptures they tweeted to my ‘I’m rooting for everyone black’ style feed and feel conflicted once again. Was it wrong that I cared about these things? Is God looking down on me seeing my disgust as injustice as a frivolous fixation? Am I really a proper Christian?

These questions circled my mind and my ponderings made me question my identity and focus. However, I slowly came to the realisation that although a desire for justice for black people was not bad, my fixation on it was bordering on unhealthy. I could tell you more about colourism and racist tropes in the media than I could about scripture because I cared more about those topics than scripture. So, although God is a God of justice, I was disconnecting God from the problem and making solving the problem my God. You must take a step back sometimes and ask, is this desire I have, is this problem that really irritates me becoming my God?

I believe that this is what throws us off sometimes. Perhaps your desire is not to preach, be a Christian singer or a missionary. Perhaps you want to create a business that empowers women or become a sports coach and use it to mentor young people or perhaps you want to build a successful family. That is not bad. However, ask yourself is achieving those things more important to you than building a relationship with God. Is your pursuit of success, wealth and status more important to you than praying, obedience and loving and serving others? Is your relationship between God and your goals a turbulent one where your goals are gaining the upper hand, or do you ensure that your goals submit to God?

There is nothing wrong with me wanting a bigger and better life for myself. However, in learning how to put God first and embrace contentment I am learning that instead of submitting to my goals I need to ensure that I submit to God always and that irrespective of what happens true contentment comes from Him.

We’re all on this journey together, share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with me by commenting below, tweeting your thoughts or sending me a dm or personal message on Twitter or Instagram.

Stay blessed and beautiful. #itunuspeaks